My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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