You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
