you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
