not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
