He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Even my vagina gasped.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize