So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
