I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
