Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You were trust falling into bushes
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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