i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize