If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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