and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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