that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
