I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize