Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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