So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
