she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
