I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
