Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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