I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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