Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
