I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
