Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
