haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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