Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
