what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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