no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
