Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
