Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize