Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
