Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
How external is "for external use only"?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
