We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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