So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
