I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I need a burrito and a hug.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
