Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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