i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
