You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize