it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
