lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
