We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
