I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
