Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
