he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
