i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
