After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
