Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Come share oat with me in your robe
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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