U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Let's get the cat blown out
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
