you guys were way drunker than both of me
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
