we're blogging at a bar
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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