So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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