So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He? As in you personified your dick?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
