She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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