I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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