One girl and one boy is just not enough.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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