Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
