Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
