Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
