Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i think i have herpe
just one?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
