3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
