Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
