she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
