Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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