I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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